Just heard bad news

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Just heard bad news

Post by agaphmou on Mon Nov 19, 2012 1:20 pm

I'm shocked.A good friend of mine D just called me to tell me that our friend,and ex-husband to our other friend P was found dead in his house. He was a little older than me,prob around 45-46.They're going to perform an autopsy.I can't believe it.
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Re: Just heard bad news

Post by Lori on Mon Nov 19, 2012 9:51 pm

It sounds like a shocker, Athena. I'm not that old (52), but have seen lots of friends the same age pass away already. One of my husband's college roommates died 6 years ago! Our dentist, who I would have sworn was healthy as an ox died while biking with his daughter. My youngest son has 2 very close friends who have lost their fathers already.

I had a shock on Sunday when I got the call that my grandma had passed. She was 96, but I had just driven down the day before and spent the afternoon with her. I've been downstate again today meeting with the funeral director, pastor, nursing home (picked up all of her belongings and took them back to her house). Then after I called my aunt to let her know the plan, she seemed to question everything. Swears that grandma chose a blue casket just like we chose for my mother, even though the funeral director pointed out a light beiges-bronze casket. So I went through Grandma's safe and all of the bedroom drawers looking for a copy of the agreement she had with the funeral chapel. Nothing. I'm going to invite her to unlock Grandma's house and have at it OR just go discuss it with the funeral director. She questioned that he told me that one of the papers had already home to press and insisted that it's only Monday, how could that be. Let's see, tiny town, thanksgiving week with all the special Black Friday fillers... Yes, they're going to get it banged out so they can spend the holiday with their family's. Oh, and questioned the burial on Monday, wanting to know if they were going to open the casket so we would know she was in there and not someone else. If you just imagine the biggest eye roll ever - that was me when she said that. I was so freakin exhausted and still had a 3 hour drive home in the dark (hate driving in the dark - even worse during deer season when the deer are freaking out).

Excuse my rant. I'm tired.

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Re: Just heard bad news

Post by bizzeedee on Mon Nov 19, 2012 11:14 pm

Athena, sorry for your friends loss (and yours) and Lori so sorry for the the loss of your Grandmom..... dang, why do these things happen during holidays.... My sister passed away in early Oct and I still haven't gotten over it.

Sad love to you both.
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Re: Just heard bad news

Post by agaphmou on Mon Nov 19, 2012 11:37 pm

I'm sorry again to both of you.I pulled the strength together to call my friend Peggy,his ex-wife,to offer my assistance in anything she may need.Of course she was crying and not doing too well.She told me the whole story.Apparently he had been having pain in his upper back for a few days.One of his friends offered to bring him to a hospital b/c he looked horrible.He refused b/c he had no health insurance.A couple of days later Peggy tried to call him(they have twins together) but there was no answer,unlike him.She sent his friend to the apartment where he found him,gone. The medical examiner said that he had a massive heart attack.
I don't know why these things happen Dee.And btw I don't think you ever get over a death,you just learn to live with it.I've never gotten over my mom's sickness and death.
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Re: Just heard bad news

Post by trax on Tue Nov 20, 2012 8:35 am

My sympathy to you both. Death is the most difficult situation to get through. You never get over it; you deal with it the best you know how and each person has a different way of doing it.
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Re: Just heard bad news

Post by Lori on Tue Nov 20, 2012 10:12 am

Thanks, guys. I have to keep in mind that even though my aunt is being a pain-in-the-rear, this is her mother and she's upset and so far away. She's frail herself and will be travelling all day today to get to MI. Hopefully once she's here she'll feel more in control.
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agaphmou wrote:One of his friends offered to bring him to a hospital b/c he looked horrible.He refused b/c he had no health insurance.
This is terrible. Something needs to be done to fix our healthcare system. It's a terrible feeling when you know someone needs medical help but you can't convince them to go for help. It's just so senseless.

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Re: Just heard bad news

Post by agaphmou on Tue Nov 20, 2012 1:18 pm

I agree Lori.If he had insurance he would probably be alive today
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Re: Just heard bad news

Post by tara on Tue Nov 20, 2012 4:16 pm

So sorry for both of your losses, just a bad week all around. My gramma had a stroke Friday night, she dying. At this point all we can do is keep her comfortable until then.
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Re: Just heard bad news

Post by Lori on Tue Nov 20, 2012 6:47 pm

Oh no, Tara. I'll keep your family in my prayers.


The week got worse for us when my MIL called this morning and asked DH to come pick her up and take her to the hospital. She hadn't slept and waited to call until she thought we might be up. She was transported to a different hospital (all we have now is emergency services) and may or may not have a blockage in her upper intestinal tract. We won't really know anything until tomorrow.

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Re: Just heard bad news

Post by bizzeedee on Tue Nov 20, 2012 7:06 pm

all these stores make me so sad as I know they do you too. At least my sister died in peace with no pain, just went to sleep.

I couldn't get to NC for the memorial service, but my niece's husband set it up on Skype, so felt I was there. Writing her eulogy gave me some piece, as I worked on it for several days, so it was a good time for reflection of my memories.

I wish you each peace.
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Re: Just heard bad news

Post by trax on Tue Nov 20, 2012 8:09 pm

Way too sad for you all. and more
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Re: Just heard bad news

Post by agaphmou on Tue Nov 20, 2012 11:12 pm

tara wrote:So sorry for both of your losses, just a bad week all around. My gramma had a stroke Friday night, she dying. At this point all we can do is keep her comfortable until then.

I'm so sorry Tara! What a messed up week!
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Re: Just heard bad news

Post by agaphmou on Tue Nov 20, 2012 11:18 pm

Lori ,I hope everything turns out well for your MIL.I hope it's just impacted feces,that's pretty easy to care of.
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Re: Just heard bad news

Post by tara on Wed Nov 21, 2012 8:45 pm

I hope everything is okay with your MIL Lori.

Gramma passed away last night. She was 89, she had a long life and we all knew her time was short. But the knowing she was dying and the watching and waiting for it was just brutal. I was with her for a few hours yesterday before she died and I am grateful that I had that time.
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Re: Just heard bad news

Post by agaphmou on Thu Nov 22, 2012 1:56 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss Tara! Knowing that they had a full long life helps a lot.
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Re: Just heard bad news

Post by tara on Thu Nov 22, 2012 6:07 pm

Thanks Athena, it does.
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