Unfiended for the lamest reason....

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Unfiended for the lamest reason....

Post by bizzeedee on Sat May 22, 2010 11:13 pm

Sometimes it's stupid to comment.. A "friend" who used to be my neighbor, unfriended me on FB... She got a new hair cut, and everyone was raving, I said it was nice, but that I like her longer hair and side swept bangs, ( she looks like Cleoptatra now.) I knew she commented only because I saw the email in my inbox but can reply, which tells me she unfriended me but I can't see it on FB... content unavailalbe! Do I care? Yes and No (I am one of those people who don't like to be unliked or tought negatively of) Since her house which is few doors down from me and she relied on me to give her updates about her tenants, she may be sorry she unfriended me....

Her reply to my comments ""It's okay Diane. I understand that it may be too young for someone of your generation to appreciate. Honestly? I don't like your hair either. You should let it go ahead and gray. It's a bit of a stretch to be a redhead at this point in your life isn't it?"
How bitchy is that? I thought of all kinds of replies, but decided to take the upper road and not say anything back, but just ignore (it would have had to be via message)...

My profile picture is from the 80's, and yes my hair looks really redish... back then got pictures developed at Kmart and those few years of photos are all very redish (at that time, my hair was natural color and nowdays, it's very salt and pepper, and very natural.

She wasn't a great or best friend, but I still feel disturbed by the whole thing. Is that weird or what?
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Re: Unfiended for the lamest reason....

Post by thebigscott on Sat May 22, 2010 11:40 pm

I swear, people think they can say or do anything online and that it will have no impact whatsoever. What a petty thing for her to say. It would have hurt my feelings very much, even though I know not to take online comments that seriously.

I like your facebook picture. I know it's an older picture, but for a lot of us facebook is a way to get in touch with old friends or classmates who haven't seen us in 20 years. I'm sure there are a ton of my classmates who I wouldn't recognize as they look now, but put up a 20 or 30 year old yearbook pic and I'd recognize them in a heartbeat.
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Re: Unfiended for the lamest reason....

Post by bizzeedee on Sat May 22, 2010 11:57 pm

just going thru my emails where I get FB notifications, and found that a friend of hers put her two comments in as well...

"diane, what the hell is wrong with you..."

This gal who I'm refrering to, April, is somewhat crazy and when I read her posts am often quite 'shocked'... she's moving to British Columia soon as that is where her DH found a job, in the last year, she's been living the life of a single women (SC), except she has a 4 year old son. I ask normal questions, she ignores.... but when she wants to know that status of her rented house, she's my best friend.

I'm just not sure why this whole thing has gotten to me... I still have a 'need' to commet, but fighting the urge to do so.
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Re: Unfiended for the lamest reason....

Post by agaphmou on Sun May 23, 2010 1:34 am

you know what? sometimes the truth hurts lol BUT if you don't tell the truth then you're just phoney and not a good friend. You really can't win either way,and if she took it the wrong way,well that's her problem
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Re: Unfiended for the lamest reason....

Post by Rebecca1340 on Sun May 23, 2010 8:25 am

To be blunt she sounds like a jerk to me. I don't think I'd be giving her anymore house updates or better yet I'd tell her you think it's being used as a grow op.

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Re: Unfiended for the lamest reason....

Post by KellyM on Sun May 23, 2010 10:07 am

I think she took it way too far... You know if one of my friends told me that they didn't care for my new hairdo I'd say, " Well I was just looking for a change and I happen to like it." and leave it at that. I do want my friends to give me their honest opinion, that way I always know that they are shooting straight with me. I may not always like what they have to say, but I also know whether or not they agree with me, that it doesn't affect our friendship any. That is something I wouldn't get upset over.

Sometimes in other circumstances it's hard though, because in today's day and age of IM's and e-mails it's so easy to take what someone says out of context or take it in a different tone than it was actually meant. That's because on the screen it just comes flat out in words with no inflection or feeling behind them, so you have no idea really what the sender is actually saying. It happens with Hubby and I sometimes, he will send an e-mail and it sounds like he is being impatient and short with me. I send a reply asking why he is so upset only to find out he wasn't, he was just hurrying throught the e-mail because he's very busy at work and doesn't have time to answer. So to try to answer me but still get his work done, he will write short, chopped, direct sentences which makes the e-mail sound angry when its really not. I find that I try to watch myself when I post to see how someone might take what I say. But it's almost unrealistic to analyze everything you type. Instead of sending the message that she did to you and unfriending you, she could have done it differently. She could have sent a message to you telling you that the fact that you posted you didn't care for her new hairdo hurt her feelings. Even though you did post it's nice but personally I like the old look better. But she handled it badly, it's her loss..
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Re: Unfiended for the lamest reason....

Post by chelle on Sun May 23, 2010 12:17 pm

I'd just walk away. and lots of folks dont like my hair. One of the guys I'm on a committee with was picking on me the other day about it looking like a rooster comb or something, said it got cut too short last time. I just laughed and told him to kiss my ass It was a differnt cut and I liked it. (but secretly agree'd it was cut too short last time.. LOL but he didnt have to point it out!LOL )

Last night at a party, my SIL said "are you EVER gonna let the big hair go?" I said "NOPE" and it got turned on her- about 5 guys said "why dont you try it?" inlcuding her husband.. LOL

I actually get told all the time "I cant BELIVE you cut off your beautiful long hair and its soo short now!!" (its been 5 years) and people will tell me its too wild, too boufount, too something.. I dont let it bother me at all. and dont understand why people do. she just sounds very bitchy, and honestly, I think 'defriending' someone on facebook because they hurt your feelings or said something you dont like is about as childish as it gets. we all hurt someone s feelings a little at somepoint, but you just go on with life. Like karen said, its too easy nowdays to just push a button instead of discussing why or what...

I only unfriend people when they annoy me with those stupid constant video postings. (had one guy that posted 47 videos- one right after the other... OMG)

or the ones who are constantly posting pictures of themselves in their car.... they get on my nerve. I'm not talking about a new pic every week. I'm talking
"just got up! talk about bedhead" *pic*
"on my way to work"*pic*
then "at my desk"*pic*
then "on the way to McDonalds for lunch"*pic*
"lunch was great! can you see the xtra 5 lbs yet?" *pic*
"man! I need a nap! I ate too much" *pic*

and at 3:30 "its almost 5, can you see the happy on me?" *pic*
again at 4:30 "yeah!! 30 more minutes! I'm smilin now!" *pic*
then you get them ALL through the night, the dog was glad to see them "PIC" their supper got burned *pic* the kid made an A *pic* they painted their toenails *pic* aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg!

those I delete.

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Re: Unfiended for the lamest reason....

Post by Lori on Sun May 23, 2010 2:35 pm

No great loss, Dee. Sounds like she was PMS-ing to me. Something someone of "her generation" still suffers from.

chelle wrote:or the ones who are constantly posting pictures of themselves in their car.... they get on my nerve. I'm not talking about a new pic every week. I'm talking
"just got up! talk about bedhead" *pic*
"on my way to work"*pic*
then "at my desk"*pic*
then "on the way to McDonalds for lunch"*pic*
"lunch was great! can you see the xtra 5 lbs yet?" *pic*
"man! I need a nap! I ate too much" *pic*

and at 3:30 "its almost 5, can you see the happy on me?" *pic*
again at 4:30 "yeah!! 30 more minutes! I'm smilin now!" *pic*
then you get them ALL through the night, the dog was glad to see them "PIC" their supper got burned *pic* the kid made an A *pic* they painted their toenails *pic* aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg!

those I delete.

I agree! Facebook and cell phone cameras are deadly tools in the hands of a narcissist. OMG, people, we don't like looking at you half as much as you do, so give us a break!

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Re: Unfiended for the lamest reason....

Post by bizzeedee on Mon May 24, 2010 7:49 pm

Hey "Friends" :-) I soo appreciate all your comments. I've a few more days to think about and have decided to do nothing. It's not like she was a "great" friend, just a neighbor who happened to play in our bunco group.

And I will repeat, I never said I didn't like her new do (just thought it) but commented that I liked her longer hair. (which I guess is a polite way of saying I didn't like the new do).

Chelle, she is one of those gals who always posts pictures of herself at the beach parties, bars, pole dancing (lessons I think) and once in a while, her little boy. She also posts for all to see, videos she makes to her husband (in BC), and you can always tell they are late at night because she sometimes seems too sleepy, buzzed and tring to act sexy. You would think that a wife would send them videos via PM.

So after a cooling off period, I'm fine. People like that I don't need in my space.

Again, thanks. Always so nice to vent and get such open, honest and positive feedback (not to say, if I do say anything wrong here, please don't be shy about saying so ... okay so know several of you wouldn't LOL... but promise not to "unfriend" Unofficial Bzz, and I'm pretty sure you won't do that to me either :-) LY Girls!
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