Im an evil grandmama

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Im an evil grandmama

Post by Connie on Fri Apr 30, 2010 12:13 am

They have only been here a few months (dd and grandbaby) but it took forever to get grandbaby on a schedule.

Since dd got her car and FREEDOM.. she has been going out every night. I had a small temper tantrum last week and told that was unacceptable. If it's once in awhile and he is asleep.. not biggie.. but not every night. Especially since we are babysitting everyday while she is at work.

So this week she decided to come home from work, pack him up and go out.. Of course after three nights of being up late (he WAS going to bed at 7pm).. he is all out of whack. Last night he was up at around 2am.. I had to go in and tell her to either let him get up and play or get up with him and soothe him (he is teething).

Tonight she came home on time and had him in bed by 730 and then asked if she could go to the store to go bday shopping for ME. I said as long as he was asleep.. it wasn't long before I heard him crying..

Got him up and then called her to come and take care of him. I feel bad, but I did tell her that under NORMAL circumstances it wouldn't be any big deal.. however, since she decided to throw him off his schedule, she gets to deal with the consequences..

Wink Evil or Very Mad Razz
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Re: Im an evil grandmama

Post by agaphmou on Fri Apr 30, 2010 1:10 am

you are not evil.you raised your kids,she needs to raise hers,it's your job to enjoy them.Mothers sometimes need a brake too,but they have no right to expect it of you as a given. I babysat my sister's kids since they were little babies so she could work,ad do her shopping etc etc ,i never sked for money,but I did expect respect.I never even got a heartfelt thank you
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Re: Im an evil grandmama

Post by thebigscott on Fri Apr 30, 2010 1:31 am

I'm proud of you. She needs help, but there's a difference between giving someone a hand and being their doormat.
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Re: Im an evil grandmama

Post by Rebecca1340 on Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:13 am

Good for you! She'll be better off for it in the long run and so will the baby!

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Re: Im an evil grandmama

Post by chelle on Fri Apr 30, 2010 12:22 pm

I think you did GREAT!! and I agree.. I hated for BR to screw up the kids schedule (and still do- they get to stay up late or watch TV or other shit when he is home) - she needs to learn that a baby is not a purse to accessorize you, its a living human that has its own set of needs that she needs to accomodate- I'm proud of you for pointing those out!! Smile

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Re: Im an evil grandmama

Post by Connie on Fri Apr 30, 2010 10:18 pm

Thanks all! She is cracking me up tonight. It's 8:15.. She worked 11-7 today.

She has tried to put him down at LEAST three times since she has been home.. He ain't havin it! She wants to go out with her friend.. awww it's tough to be a mom.. hehe
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Re: Im an evil grandmama

Post by edbson on Sat May 01, 2010 9:44 am

Not meanie, she did it to herself. SHe made a baby, she has to take care of it.

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Re: Im an evil grandmama

Post by Connie on Mon May 03, 2010 11:43 pm

I agree.. totally.. She pulled it again tonight.. After she laid him down she came in and said "since he is laying down"... I knew what was coming and told her she had to wait till he was asleep.

She did but got upset when I started questioning where she was going.. She couldn't really give a straight answer but I let her go. She is apparently not happy with having to watch tv every night.. well she can do her crafts or clean or whatever.. I don't care.

When she came home she came in and appologized for her attitude.. I told her it was fine but from now on, she can pay regular babysitting rates if she wants to go out after I have watched him all day.. She said that's fine.. I don't think she realizes what babysitters get these days.. Wink
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Re: Im an evil grandmama

Post by edbson on Tue May 04, 2010 12:15 am

They get a hell of a lot more than I can afford.....going rates here are $10 an hour per kid.
Stick to your guns, she made him, she needs to care for him. Not sure on the details, but I am assuming she moved home for a reason. I have btdt, and you just gotta put your foot down, and make sure he is cared for.

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Re: Im an evil grandmama

Post by Connie on Sat May 08, 2010 9:49 pm

I've been putting my foot down and it's been interesting to say the least.. She accepts it all and she still buys groceries and helps with the bills when I ask (so far less than $150 a month but still a lot for her budget). On one hand I feel guilty but on the other hand I feel I am doing what is right and acceptable.. It's TOUGH to be a mom!
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Re: Im an evil grandmama

Post by thebigscott on Sun May 09, 2010 1:31 am

Don't feel guilty. You're giving her the tools she'll need to get by in life once you aren't in a position to help.

I read a great article once that tells what parenting is all about. The author said that he had a big tree in his back yard and one of the branches was near his second story window. He watched as a bird built her nest, he saw her sitting on the eggs day after day, and watched her bringing food to her babies once they hatched. Then the big day came, when she kicked them out of the nest. The first two fledglings tumbled through the air for a moment, then spread their wings and flew. The third just tumbled and hit the ground. The momma bird swooped down and landed beside it. He watched intently to see how she would comfort her baby. She looked at it for a moment, then pecked it hard three times on top of its head. Then he realized, mom's job isn't just to make you feel better. It's also to tell you when it's time to quit being an idiot.
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Re: Im an evil grandmama

Post by Connie on Mon May 10, 2010 12:57 am

LOL.. that is a GREAT example.. I will have to keep that in mind and just imagine myself thumping her on the head.. with words.. Wink

She HAS been staying home and taking care of business since the last update.. She really is trying.. yay for that much at least!
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